


Fake It Out Alive

by CursedbyPhan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Possible Character Death, Triggers, World War III
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8256818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedbyPhan/pseuds/CursedbyPhan
Summary: WW3 has broken out at the hands of a terrorist group and the UK has been taken over by them. It’s their mission to destroy the US and anyone allied with them. Y/N was visiting Dan and Phil and is now stuck in London as all Americans are being hunted down and killed. The stakes are high, and no one is safe. Yet, despite the odds, will they all manage to get out alive?





	1. The Beginning

I slumped into the couch, my bones absolutely aching. Summer in the City was definitely more exhausting than it looked. But despite my sore body, I smiled to myself. I never thought I would get here. Two years ago, I was just a YouTube fan with a dream and a dark sarcastic sense of humor. Until one day, I decided I had enough of dreaming. I picked up my camera and uploaded a video. Suddenly, my world took off in a whirlwind as my channel gained in popularity. Before long, I had a little over two million subscribers and was gaining hundreds more by the day. A year into it was when I ran into my idols, Dan and Phil. Honestly, when I first met them I did not have high hopes for being friends. Part of it was because I was a major phangirl, but mainly it was because when I first met them I spilled Dan’s Ribena all over Phil’s white shirt. Yet, despite that flop, and a few others along the way, Dan and Phil actually became quite close friends of mine. They’d already visited me a few times and now here I was sat in their living room or lounge as they would call it. It honestly all felt like a crazy dream sometimes. Like how is this actual reality? I let a dopey smile cover my face. Sighing contently, I slumped into the sofa crease closing my eyes. Yep, this really was the dream, and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. 

“Y/N, are you fangirling on us right now?” I heard Dan’s voice lightly accuse as he walked into the room.

My eye peaked open to stare him down, a contrast to my bright red face. “No, I have no idea what you mean.”

“Oh, shush. The look on your face says it all,” he laughed. 

“Come off it, Dan,” Phil smiled as he came into the room carrying a box of pizza, “I’m pretty sure I remember that smile from when you first came to my place in 2009.” He wiggled his eye brows suggestively making Dan sputter and go bright red, as well.

“Phil! Just because those phangirls write smutty stories about us in 2009, does not mean that I wanted to do the do with you back then.”

I couldn’t help myself. I snorted, “Do the do, Daniel? Really? What are you eight?”

“Hey, I’m preserving innocence here!” he sputtered back.

“Whose? Because it definitely isn’t mine if you know what I mean,” I winked suggestively licking my lip then biting it. Dan’s face was absolutely scarlet at my uncharacteristic forwardness. He was so easy to work up sometimes. 

“Sit down, Danny-boy,” Phil said as he himself sat down on the opposite end of the couch, “before you have a problem you can’t fix here.” 

Phil said it so seriously that I couldn’t control myself. I burst out laughing in such hysterics that Phil also lost his composure and doubled over laughing. Dan grumbled to himself about how he shouldn’t have to put up with this shit, and shuffled over to us. He threw the blanket he carried in over my head and playfully shoved me out of his sofa crease. I mockingly groaned and scooted so I was between both of them. I rearranged the blanket so it covered all of us and sighed as reality set in. 

“Something wrong, Y/N?” Dan turned to me.

“No, I just leave tomorrow, and I don’t want to go. I always have such fun with you guys. You two have become my closest friends, and I hate living an ocean away,” And I really like you. I have for a long time. I don’t want this to be the time I leave and you find someone else, is what I wanted to say but I kept that last part to myself and played with the edge of the blanket instead. Suddenly, I was a part of a phan sandwich, a phandwich if you will, as both boys hugged me from each side. 

“Aw, Y/N we’ll see you again soon! And you know you’re always allowed to take spontaneous trips here to see us!” Phil said.

“And you’ve always talked about moving to London for a few years, so maybe soon it will only be a few blocks between us instead of an ocean,” Dan practically whispered in my ear causing a shiver to run down my spine. 

“Okay, okay! Boys!” I laughed trying to play off that little moment casually even though my heart was suddenly beating a lot faster. I managed to push them off of me, “Let’s get started on that movie.” 

They reluctantly pulled off of me, but I did notice that Dan’s arm stayed draped on the back of the couch. It was right behind my head where it definitely wasn’t before. I ignored it the best that I could and tried to pretend there wasn’t a little flutter in my heart. It was about halfway through the movie and close to midnight when the exhaustion from the day really started to hit me. The dark room, warm, fuzzy blanket, and soothing music from the movie soothed me into a sleepy state. I tried to fight it, but sleep had already dug its claws into me. As I fought for my eyes to stay open, I felt a hand lightly push my head sideways until I was curled into Dan’s chest. I unintentionally let out a small satisfied sigh and felt a chuckle reverberate throughout his chest. If I was more awake I would have been embarrassed, but instead I let his body heat and beating of his heart lull me to sleep as he brushed his hand through my hair. For the first time while being there, I felt completely at peace as sleep dragged me under.

 

A concussion of flashing sounds and lights awoke me. What’s happening? Blurry lights and colors swarmed my vision as suddenly I was flung into the air. In those few seconds, I heard shouting, screaming, and an ear piercing noise that made me want to curl up into a ball, but then it suddenly all went away. All I could sense now was pain. It started right above my right eyebrow and exploded like lightning throughout my body. It seared through my head and down my spine, lighting my nerves on fire. But even though my nerves were hot with pain, my body felt cold and almost floating, though I could feel the floor on my back. I regained my vision for a mere moment to see Dan above me, terror within his eyes, mouthing my name. My brain couldn’t piece together what was so terrifying. Dan kept getting blurrier, and each time he did he seemed to become more panicked and I felt more like liquid melting. The sounds became so overwhelming; they became white noise. My senses shut off in rapid fire, and suddenly I could no longer see. My body didn’t even feel like it was in existence. It was as if a dark liquid had clouded everything and was swallowing me whole. Then, as if a switch had been hit, I was completely gone. 

 

The first thing that came back to me was my consciousness. It was barely there, and slowly pulling itself out of the hole. Next, my nerves sparked back to life. The weightlessness sensation faded away until I could feel a soft surface beneath me. My hearing was next to come back. Muddled voices filled my head. I knew they were Dan and Phil’s, but what they were saying was lost to me. I heard a little pain filled whimper and realized it had come from me, even though my first thought was that a wounded animal was in the room. I suddenly felt a presence and a hand brushing my cheek. Finally, my sight came back and I opened my eyes only to shut them just as quickly. The light burned and the pain in my forehead that came with it didn’t help. 

“Y/N? Y/N can you hear me?” I heard Dan desperately whisper.

I whimpered again and slowly opened my eyes, this time my eyes welcoming the light. Dan became focused. He was leaning above me looking absolutely distressed. His cheeks were tearstained, his eyes bloodshot, and he looked horridly paler than normal, as if he was going to be sick at any moment. Something was really wrong here. A sudden flashback of loud sounds, screaming, and flashing lights flooded my system. I grabbed at my head in surprise and yelped in pain as my hand collided with a painful wet cloth on my head.

“Careful! You’re hurt!” Dan exclaimed yanking my hand away in a flash. I looked in surprise to see a faint smear of blood not only my hand but his, and there was quite a lot on his. What the hell had happened?

A sudden strike of fear and uneasiness hit me. “Dan?” I looked into his eyes, “what’s going on?”

Dan had a look that stuck that fear to my core. The closest I had ever seen to someone looking like that was when 9/11 happened when I was little. That was not a look I ever wanted to see again, but as he stared into my eyes, my gut feeling only got worse.

Dan heaved a shaky breath, “Y/N, I don’t know how to say this, but I-I think World War III has started.”


	2. No One is Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late guys! My computer deleted the original chapter, so I had to rewrite it.

I struggled out a rough sounding laugh, “That’s very funny, Dan. But seriously what the fuck happened?”

Dan’s eyebrows knitted together. “Y/N, how much do you remember?”

I sighed. I didn’t really want to think right now. The pain in my head was just so annoying, but for Dan’s sake I did so anyways. “I think, well I, um, you know, fell asleep…on you. And then, there was a bunch of flashing and loud sounds. And then, I think I was in the air? I don’t know, but before I blacked out you looked pretty freaked out.”

Dan let out a breath of relief. “We’ll at least your memory still seems intact. You hit your head pretty hard.”

I rolled my eyes, sarcasm lacing my voice, “Yeah, I could tell.” It was silent for a second as we stared at each other. I didn’t want to ask and he obviously didn’t want to answer, but it had to be done. “So, obviously, I’m still missing some details. What…um…what did you mean by World War III?”

Dan heaved another sigh and ran his fingers back through his hair, obviously, trying to find the right words. “Y/N I-,” he started, stopped, then started again, “Y/N I think you should just come with me. Can I pick you up? You really shouldn’t be standing on your own right now.”

I numbly nodded. I didn’t like where this was heading. Yesterday, if Dan was to pick me up bridal style, I probably would have had a massive heart attack and fangirled internally. Today, I just let him slip his arms under me and lift me to his chest without so much as batting an eye. The pain had left me on autopilot, so I just let my head rest on his shoulder, relaxed, and tried not to think too much. For some reason, I felt more tired than I ever had. I must have hit my head pretty damn hard. 

We walked in uncomfortable silence down the hallway, away from Dan’s room. It had been a while since a moment so tense has quieted us like this. As we got closer, I realized Dan was taking us to the lounge. The scene of the crime, my mind joked with me, but I found no humor in the thought. Just a look at Dan’s face and I could tell that what I was about to see was no laughing matter. A sudden thought occurred to me. 

“Dan?”

He stopped right by the edge of the doorframe where we couldn’t see into the room. “What’s up?” he asked, but his voice was strained, as if he was trying with all his might to sound casual but couldn’t physically do it. 

“Why are your hands covered in blood? Is it mine?” 

“Yeah, some of it is. Phil also had a nasty gash on his arm that I had to take care of. I was the only one who wasn’t hurt. Lucky me, I guess.” He didn’t sound so lucky. “I’m sorry does it bother you?”

My heart constricted. “No, of course not, I’m just glad that no one was seriously injured. Where is Phil, by the way? I thought I heard his voice earlier.”

“You did. He came to check on you after cleaning up. He was really worried when you didn’t wake up right away. You’ve been out for a few hours. I made him go sleep though. He looked like he was about to collapse, and I could tell his arm was bothering him more than he was letting on.” Dan shifted uncomfortably. 

“Thank you,” I suddenly whispered. 

“What?” Dan looked genuinely confused. 

“For taking care of me, I mean. I must have scared you quite a bit. I’m sorry.” Just the memory of Dan’s horror stricken face as I lay on the floor made me shiver. 

“Hey look at me,” he coaxed my eyes to look back up into his, “Don’t apologize. I’m just happy that I was there.”

I felt a blush start to creep up my neck, and I buried my face into his chest. A sudden throb went through my head from moving too fast causing me to groan lowly in response. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” he whispered into my hair.

“No, yeah, um, my head still hurts,” I mumbled into his shirt.

“I’m not surprised. You did hit it pretty hard, although that’s mainly my fault.” He replied sheepishly. 

“What?” Now it was my turn to be genuinely confused.

“Like I said, it’s better if I just showed you. Phil cleaned up most of it, but it’s still a giant mess.” He sighed. “Are you ready?”

“Dan, in all honesty, you’re sort of freaking me out. Just - just pull the band-aid off already, okay?” I tried to sound nonchalant but the fault in my voice betrayed me. 

Dan’s expression became pained as he walked us around the corner into the lounge. He was right, there was no way he could have explained this without me thinking it was some sort of sick joke. Even looking at all of this, my mind was still trying to find ways that this could be a prank. Except it wasn’t, and my mind didn’t want to wrap itself around that. I stumbled my way out of Dan’s grip despite his protests and hobbled over to the window. My balance almost failed me a few times, but then I felt Dan’s steady grip around my waist keeping me upright. Suddenly, it didn’t feel like I had knees or even legs to keep me standing. I felt my legs give out, and I collapsed into Dan’s chest dragging us both to the ground. I heard Dan’s voice distantly, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying, nor did my mind even care. It was too overwhelmed with what it was seeing. Sight seemed to be the only sense my body could even comprehend right now, and suddenly I believed him. This didn’t just look like WWIII. This wasn’t a possibility of WWIII. This was WWIII. 

The world outside our little apartment was in shambles. The streets were covered in soot and debris. Plumes of black smoke rose above the city and made the sky a sinister black void. Before we left the room, a glance at the clock on Dan’s bedside table had told me that it should be an hour after sunrise. And yet, as I looked out in the distance, there wasn’t even a ray of sunshine in sight. Some buildings looked as if they were going to fall apart any second while others were already in ruins on the ground. Then I saw the people, the dead people littering the streets. It was like an episode of The Walking Dead had come alive and sprung its worst nightmares on innocent bystanders. That’s when my other senses started to come back. I started to hear the distant screams, wails, sirens, and suddenly it was too much. My stomach heaved as my eyes locked on a mangled person on the ground a few stories below. My vision blurred and the next thing I knew I was leaning out of the broken window to throw up. I felt Dan’s hand run up and down my back, attempting to be soothing. And suddenly, I was crying and engulfed in Dan’s chest as he shushed and rocked me back and forth. 

Through blurry, tear-stained eyes I got a look at the rest of the room. Phil had cleaned up what he could although I could still see a few glass shards laying around. The blood pooled in front of the couch, from Phil and I, was now gone. Only a light stain left a hint that it had once been there. The table that was once piled high with pizza was now adorned with trash bags full of glass and a bottle of bleach. My brain felt like a computer trying to process everything at light speed but not being able to keep up. The world wouldn’t slow down. Here I was glued in one place, and the world was charging ahead just leaving me to be crushed under the weight left behind. I clawed at my chest suddenly finding it hard to breathe, as if my ribs were collapsing in on me. In a distant logical part of my mind, I knew I was having a panic attack from the shock of the situation, but even that knowledge didn’t stop it. 

Dan immediately recognized what was happening and grabbed my wrists so I wouldn’t accidentally hurt myself. He crossed my arms over my chest and pulled me backwards until my back was against his chest so he was hugging me. He rocked me back and forth whispering into my hair that it was going to be alright. And in that moment, even with the horrid screams outside and impending dread of the situation, I believed him.


	3. When the World Falls Apart

During my episode, Phil had woken up to me screaming and had come rushing into the lounge. But when he saw us, he sighed and bent down opening his arms up. I was an emotional mess and immediately latched onto him like a sloth. I needed comfort. I needed to hear from forever positive sunshine Phil Lester that everything was going to be okay. Keeping his hurt arm at a safe distance, he petted the back of my hair and softly said something to Dan who murmured in agreement. The next thing I knew, Phil had carefully guided me to the bathroom and had run a bath for me. He told me to come out whenever I was ready and we could talk. 

An hour later, I had finally calmed down and left the sanctuary of the bathroom. I had changed my clothes into sweats and walked into the lounge. The place didn’t look as bad as it did before. All the glass, trash, and cleaning supplies were gone. The room was mostly spotless, and if it wasn’t for the big sheets covering the broken window, I wouldn’t have suspected anything was off. I felt a little more relaxed and oddly a little safe now that I couldn’t see what was happening outside. When Phil took me to the bath, Dan must have stayed behind to finish cleaning up. I would have to thank him later. Dan and Phil were now both sitting close on the sofa whispering urgently as they pointed at the laptop. When I stepped into the room, their heads shot up. They immediately stood up pushing the laptop aside.

“Y/N,” Phil breathed out, “You gave us quite a scare there.”

“I’m sorry,” I replied. 

Dan jabbed Phil in the ribs. “Y/N you don’t have to be sorry about anything. It’s not like any of this is your fault,” Dan said.

I walked past them and curled up on the sofa wrapping a blanket around myself. I let out a long sigh, mentally preparing myself for the heavy conversation ahead. “Okay, now that I’m back from the dead,” I said trying to dig up some air of my normal self, “let’s get down to business on what the hell has happened the last few hours.”

I swear Dan sadly smiled at me, but it was gone in a blink of an eye. Both of them sat down on the sofa with me, mirroring the positions we had the night before, except this time Dan’s arm wasn’t behind my head. It bothered me that it was suddenly absent, but I tried to keep my expression neutral. “So can we start off, in detail please, why I have this lovely bump on my head?”

Dan’s face suddenly flushed scarlet. “That would, um, be my doing,” he coughed nervously. I raised my eyebrow at him in an indication that he should continue if he knew what was good for him. “So yeah, um, last night when you were sleeping, um, on me, there was a loud bang and then suddenly our window exploded. Or did it implode? Explode? No wait. Huh, I’m not sure.”

“Dan,” I reprimanded. 

“Oh, right. Well an explosion outside caused our window to explode and glass started flying towards us, so, you know, adrenaline and self-preservation kicked in. I ended up diving to the side with Phil completely forgetting that you were on me. So then you sort of flew through the air and hit your head on the coffee table. I was freaking out since Phil was bleeding all over the place from glass in his arm, and then you were bleeding and unconscious on the floor because of me.” Dan let out an exasperated sound. “Anyways, there were a ton of explosions outside and then you weren’t waking up, so I freaked out and brought you to my room to bandage you up. I thought about calling an ambulance but with what was happening outside I didn’t think it would do any good. Um, so yeah, long story short, it’s my fault you got hurt. I’m so, so sorry!” Dan was thoroughly red from embarrassment and he quickly ducked his head. Surprisingly enough, I felt a laugh bubble up. He immediately looked at me like I had sprouted two heads. 

“That’s so like you. Oh my God,” I giggled.

“Hey!” he replied mock-offended. 

Phil chuckled too, “Well she does have a point. Now that I look back, in the strangest way, it was sort of funny.”

Dan couldn’t help but smile to himself a little. He had to admit it was quite a Dan-like thing for him to do. “Still, though, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I smiled nudging him with my shoulder, “It’s not like I have permanent brain damage. So, next question. You said explosions. Does that mean London was bombed? And by who?”

Dan and Phil shared an uncomfortable look.

“Spill now,” I demanded. 

Dan gestured to Phil to take it away. Phil’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he suddenly looked a lot more uncomfortable than he did before. 

“I don’t really know how to explain this well, so you’re going to have to bear with me, okay?” I nodded in confirmation, “Okay, so from what I can tell when I looked on the internet, London was attacked by an unnamed terrorist group. They planted bombs not only in London but around the whole of the UK. There were literally two bombs almost every two miles. Everyone is thinking that this was planned for a long time, and they’re calling this WWIII, but I don’t know. So far no one has claimed responsibility for this, and the government hasn’t said anything yet. There’s too many places that were bombed to even start grasping a hold on the entire situation. There’s a lot of news stories but at this point we can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t. But in all honesty, it seems like this is just the beginning.”

“The beginning?” I echoed. “The beginning of what?” What the hell could these people be planning?

“We’re not sure. That’s what we were talking about when you came in.” Dan chimed in, “I think the UK is being taken over by a large terrorist organization that wants to rule us, but Phil thinks that’s ridiculous.”

“Because it is!” Phil shot back, “To pull off something like that, it would have had to have been happening for years and think of the man power you would need for something like that. We would have noticed something like that. This has to be a random scare tactic. Besides, I doubt there’s really that many bombs around the UK. I’m sure it was exaggerated.”

I sat pondering for a second. “I don’t know. From what I saw, both of you could be right.” A thought suddenly hit me. “Wait, have you guys tried calling everyone else? Are they okay? Oh my god, my family must be freaking out! Where’s my phone?” 

Dan pulled it out of his pocket. “It’s here, but it doesn’t work. None of our phones do. I think the towers near us got taken out.”

“Yeah we’re just lucky that we still have water, electricity, and Wi-Fi. We had to contact everyone through our social media.” Phil said. 

I let out a frustrated breath and took my phone back. “Well, I guess that will just have to do for now. As long as they know I’m fine, that’s all that matters.”

I quickly logged into my social media apps and sent out a quick message to all my family, friends, and fans informing them that I was fine and I’d keep them updated. I shoved it back in my pocket and decided to answer all the direct messages later tonight. 

“So speaking of home, I’m assuming the airport is shut down, huh?” I asked. 

“Yep, you’re stuck with us forever now!” Dan smiled putting his arm around my shoulder and squishing me into his side. Just the thought of staying here with Dan for the rest of the foreseeable future made me blush profusely. Embarrassed, I tried to play it off by laughing and shoving him lightly in the shoulder. And out of nowhere, I suddenly felt like myself again. Dan always made me feel like I was home. 

Our moment was interrupted as a sudden high pitched ringing pierced through the room. I cried out in surprise and covered my ears trying to muffle the sound. My face scrunched up and my head jolted in pain as the ringing only got louder, deafening almost. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Dan and Phil were in the same position. 

“What the bloody hell is that?” yelled Dan.

And suddenly it stopped. 

“What did you do?” I asked him bewildered as I slowly removed my hands, paranoid that the noise would return.

“I-I don’t know. Nothing?” He seemed just as confused as I was. 

A sharp static sound suddenly came from the TV, causing all of us to snap our heads towards it. The TV had suddenly turned on to a colorful blocked screen. Small sounds of static resonated around the room. I was thoroughly freaked out now.

“Um, guys. Someone turned that on, right?” I asked my voice faltering slightly. 

Both of them shook their heads. That’s when a robotic man’s voice came from the TV. Horridly graphic images and videos started flashing across it that left me ready to hurl.

“The UK has fallen. Your Prime Minister is dead. Your Queen is dead. Your parliament has been leveled to the ground. Your government has fallen. Everyone is dead. There will be no revival. Your only chance of survival is joining us. We are here because you have allied yourself with America. If anyone, country or person, continues to ally themselves with America then this will be you.” Pictures flashed rapidly by: government officials and the queen being shot dead or blown to bits, state buildings and landmarks blown up, the explosions on the street, and the dead civilians that littered them. I felt so sick to my stomach it felt like I couldn’t breathe, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t take my eyes off of the TV. “You will submit. You will obey. Any protestors, anyone who opposes, anyone who breaks the new law will be punished by death. There will be no exceptions. We have a list of all the Americans who have entered the country for the last year until today. You cannot run. There is no place to hide. We have collected all your information. We know how to find you and have already started. This is extermination. Units have already begun The Cleansing. All British citizens who comply will be rewarded. All who oppose shall meet their end. The new law is as states: 1) Any American found within the country shall be executed 2) Any person harboring an American shall be executed along with the American 3) Anyone who turns in an American shall be heavily rewarded. You have all been warned. America has been warned. The world has been warned. The declaration of war has been stated. Any country who sides with America will be next. Let the UK be the example. We are Cipher, the nothingness, and you will obey.”

The broadcast went black then popped up again repeating the message. WWIII had officially been declared.


	4. Hell is on Your Heels

I don’t know how long we sat there but it felt like hours, years even. I couldn’t see straight. The pictures on the TV just looked like a blurred mosaic. Dan had been right. A terrorist group really had taken over, and it was only the beginning. All Americans, the broadcast had said: All Americans. I felt a numbness start to creep its way through me. They were going to kill me. Everyone was going to die. All my friends who had come to Summer in the City were going to die. We were all stuck here in a country ready to kill us. The little shred of safety I had left vanished as my situation settled in. Dan and Phil were British citizens. If they were caught keeping me here then they would die, too. Oh God, I don’t want them to die because of me. I should just leave. But, I can’t. Where the hell would I go? I’m stuck here, unless, they turned me in. A new strike of fear jumped in my core. But they wouldn’t would they? My mind started whirling. How well did I really know them? It’s not like I’ve known them all my life. I don’t know everything about them. What are their morals; their values? Would they hold their lives above mine? I mean human self preservation exists. They’ve joked about it with me many times, and oh my God they would, wouldn’t they? They would turn me in. I mean putting all jokes of phan aside they need each other more than they need me. Oh my God, they’re going to turn against me. They’re going to kill me. Dan and Phil are going to kill me. 

I felt panic surge through me. I jumped up from the couch snapping both Dan and Phil out of their heads. I was so numb I couldn’t even feel my feet as I stumbled back from them. I had to get out. 

“Y/N,” Dan said putting his hands up. My eyes snapped towards him. For once in my life, I couldn’t read his expression. Oh my God, I can’t tell what he’s thinking, I thought. My eyes shifted to his hands. Slowly, Dan stood up and started inching closer to me, his hands out stretched. Suddenly, I knew. He was going to turn me in. The man I had fallen in love with was going to kill me. I felt my heart break and fear make it beat rampant in my chest. Anywhere was better than here. 

In a spurt of adrenaline, I was sprinting through the apartment pursued by screams of my name. I can’t let them catch me. I can’t let them catch me. I can’t let them catch me, I thought running faster as if I had Hell on my heels. I felt the air swoosh by me as I dodged one of their hands and ducked under the other’s arms. I was starting to lose my breath, but I couldn’t give up. It was life or death now. I raced down the stairs almost tripping along the way. The door was so close. My fingertips brushed the doorknob when suddenly there was a heavy blow to my back. My knees cracked against the ground as Dan pinned me to the floor. I screamed and thrashed around to get free, but I was only pushed down harder. Dan was yelling at me to shut up, and when I didn’t, Phil gripped his hand over my mouth successfully silencing me. I tried to bite him, but his hold was too strong. I felt tears stream down my face in small rivers as my body wracked with muffled sobs. My fighting spirit died, and my body went limp. I knew I wasn’t getting out of this. I had failed. They were going to turn me in. By the end of the day, I was going to be dead. 

“Y/N. Y/N, look at me,” Dan commanded. I reluctantly complied, glaring at him through the tears. 

“We’re not going to hurt you. Please, calm down,” Phil said. His eyes were practically pleading with me.

“We’re not going to turn you in,” Dan whispered trying to be comforting despite our current position. “You’re not going to die, okay? We’re going to protect you. You’re safer here than out there. Please, don’t leave me. I don’t want you to die.”

The ‘me’ caught my attention, and despite my wishes, my heart soared. He cared about me. Maybe not in the way I wanted him to, but from what I saw, he wasn’t going to turn me in. The wild look of fear in his tear brimmed eyes confirmed it. Hesitantly, I looked at Phil for confirmation.

“We promise. As long as you’re with us, you’ll be safe. Neither of us, are going to let anything bad happen, okay? Now, if I take my hand off are you going to stop screaming? We don’t want anyone to know you’re here,” Phil asked still a little wary of me. I nodded as best as I could under his hold. Phil shared a look with Dan then visibly relaxed. They got off me, and I immediately sat up rubbing my jaw and wrists. Both were red and a few places looked like bruises might form. I winced when I touched a tender part on my wrist.

“I’m sorry!” They both said, guilt lacing their voices, but said nothing more. They knew I understood. 

“It’s fine,” I muttered, “I just lost my head for a second. I should have known you’d never turn me in. I should have that kind of faith in you, but I just – I just don’t know what to believe. My world’s suddenly upside-down and I’m – I’m scared. If I put my trust in the wrong people I’ll – I’ll-” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. Just thinking about it sent a new flow of tears down my face and caused my throat to constrict. I was suddenly wrapped in the warm embrace of Phil. He shushed me and started to pet my hair while rocking back and forth. 

His throat sounded just as thick as mine when he spoke, as if he was barely keeping it together himself, “Shhh, we’re not going to let anything happen to you. You’re safe here. You’re – you’re not going to die.” 

I looked up from Phil’s chest to Dan who had become uncharacteristically quiet. His back was turned to us as it shook. I couldn’t hear anything, but from the looks of it, he was crying, too. A pang of sympathy went through me. Here I was worried about myself, when they were in just as much danger as I was. I detached myself from Phil to go hug Dan, but before I could even get halfway out of his arms, Dan suddenly stood up. 

“I’ll be in my room,” he mumbled and waltzed off without so much as a glance to us. 

When I looked up at Phil, an expression of pure worry was etched into his face. It was a look lovers gave each other that ran deeper than any words could describe. There was power behind that look, and I felt myself shrink under its weight. It was silly of me to think of my love life in the middle of this world altering crisis, but with so many emotions spinning in my head, it was hard not to. I forget sometimes that I’m not the only one who loves Dan. Phil obviously does, whether it’s platonic or not, I’m not sure, but it’s enough to make me wary. They’re so close and so private about their lives; it’s hard not to wonder. Even their friends who’ve been around longer than I have don’t seem to know. They’re close enough, that if they haven’t already, one day they probably could go the full nine yards. I want it to be Dan and me together, but it’s hard to be optimistic when I see that kind of look on Phil’s face.

“Y/N, you’re staring. What’s wrong?” Phil asked. I didn’t even realize he was looking at me with concern instead. 

“You mean besides my world falling apart? Nothing, I just spaced out,” I awkwardly supplied.

Phil sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “Yeah, the world’s really gone to shit, hasn’t it?”

I stared at him in shock. I always forget that Phil’s an adult who curses. “I see that Dan’s really rubbing off on you,” I laughed a little feeling some of the tension in the air disperse. 

“Well, what can I say?” He gave me a wry smile, “It’s the end of the world as we know it.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled a little despite myself. A ding echoed through the hall from my phone, breaking the moment. I went to unlock it, but Phil grabbed my arm stopping me. 

Slightly irritated, I gave him a look to back off. “What?”

“Give me your phone. You can’t use it anymore,” he insisted.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “And why’s that? I’ve already used it once.”

“Think about it. That group, um, Ci-Cisher?” he cut himself off trying to remember the name.

“Cipher,” I supplied.

“Yeah, they said they’ve been keeping track of all Americans in and out of the UK. They obviously have the man power and hacking skills to do pretty much anything if the last 24 hours are anything to go by, so I don’t doubt they have detailed information on everyone.” He gave me a look asking if I was catching on.

“So, you’re saying they can track me?” That little feeling of panic was starting to come back. 

“Sort of, what I’m saying is that you’re a minor celebrity. That means your face is recognizable by a few million people just like all the other American Youtubers who came to Summer in the City. You’re a social media star. Your whole career is based off of how well your social media does, so you’re constantly putting out updates on your life. Everyone knows you’re here and that you should’ve left today, but since the airport has been closed since the attack there’s no way you could have left,” he said.

The realization hit me, “Which means I’m a major target. They know I’m stuck here.”

Phil nodded. “Exactly, you can’t use your phone because that requires social media since all the towers are down. They’re probably trying to weed out all the celebrities here because they know they’ll continuously contact their fans, friends, and family because it’s their job. They’ll try and keep tabs on you that way, so they can find you – find us.”

“I never thought my habit of turning my phone location off when I’m abroad would be a life saver, and yet, here we are,” I said a little shaken.

“Yeah, we’re lucky you do that. Otherwise, they probably would have known you were here since you’ve already contacted everyone,” he seemed to relax a little more with that knowledge. 

“Okay, so why can’t I use my phone?” I pressed.

“They easily hacked into our TV. Think about what they could do to your phone. They could control it from the inside without us even knowing, and from what they’ve already done, I would be surprised if they didn’t. You’re a minor celebrity, so you’re probably not at the top of their list, but they will get to you eventually and probably soon. We don’t want to accidentally tip them off where we are. We need to turn your phone off and put it in a drawer or something,” Phil said putting his hand out.

I took one last look at my phone before I reluctantly turned it off and handed it over. “You’re right. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I’m just glad I didn’t tweet that I’m staying with you two. Only a few other Youtubers know, but I don’t think they would say anything considering some of their lives are on the line, too.” 

“No, I doubt it. I can’t think of anyone who would,” Phil sighed and helped me up off the floor. “Now, I think it’s time we went to bed. I know it’s technically the middle of the day, but none of us have really slept since last night. We’re safe for now, so we just have to make sure we stay quiet and you don’t walk in front of any windows.”

“Agreed,” I yawned. I was more tired than I thought. “I need sleep. I don’t think I’m going to be able to process this anymore.”

“Okay, good night love. I’m going to go check on Dan. If you need anything just let us know,” He said walking up the steps. I dragged myself behind him, wondering what new Hell would be waiting for me when I woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I'll try to be more regular about posting chapters! I had some major family issues I had to deal with, so sorry for the abrupt hiatus! I'm back now! ~ Rose


	5. Hold Me Tight

Sleep did not come as easy as I thought it would. I spent a long while staring at the ceiling, before I gave up. If I was being honest, I was too scared to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, it felt like someone was going to grab me. I was too paranoid. Every shadow looked like a looming attacker and every noise the sound of a weapon going to kill me. I was stuck in a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. I felt five years old again, and all I wanted were my parents. This sudden yearning hit me in my chest causing tears to well up in my eyes. I wanted that comfort. I needed that everlasting love from a parent to tell me everything was going to be okay even if it wasn’t. I tightened the covers around me in hopes that it would make me feel more secure; it didn’t. I felt even more exposed. A sudden image of sleeping in Dan’s bed with his arms wrapped around me popped into my head. I felt myself blush madly, and a feeling of warmth spread through my heart briefly at the thought. It felt like protection and comfort, which were definitely the two things I was craving right now. That’s it, I thought, I don’t care if I look like some sort of weird baby. I have to sleep in Dan’s room. I need to feel like I’m not alone. God, I just hope he lets me, or I’m never going to be able to sleep. 

As I trudged through the dark abyss to Dan’s room, I felt myself slowly start to lose the courage I had to get out of bed. I hugged my pillow closer to my stomach causing the blanket around my shoulders to tighten in a semi-comforting way. Everything was even creepier out here in the open. Logically, I knew it was daytime and the only reason the apartment was this dark was because Phil had put blackout curtains on all of the windows, but that still didn’t stop the hairs from standing up on the back of my neck. Despite my hate for the dark, I was glad they were up. The last thing I needed right now was to see another mangled body in the streets, or even worse, someone recognizing me from outside. I shivered at the inclination and walked faster than before. Finally, after trudging through the apartment of paranoia I came to Dan’s room. His door was slightly open and it looked like his lamp was on. Good, he’s still up, I thought. I went to push the door open until I heard Dan and Phil’s voices from inside. My hand paused, barely grazing the wood. I didn’t know why I stopped until I heard it again, a muffled sob. A nauseating flip in my gut sunk my feet into the ground. I could hear Phil whispering little nothings to Dan, and I felt like I shouldn’t be there, like I was interrupting something intimately private. Through the crack in the door I could see Phil sitting on the floor next to Dan’s bed and Dan sitting in his lap. Phil was practically towering over Dan as he wrapped him up in a hug, one hand securely around Dan’s back and the other soothingly running his fingers through his hair. Dan curled into Phil’s chest as he sobbed into his shirt. They were obviously trying to be quiet, probably so they wouldn’t wake me up. I was about to say screw it and join them when Phil suddenly unburied his face from Dan’s hobbit hair and lifted his chin between his fingertips. The look he gave Dan as he wiped away the tears felt as if I had been stabbed in the chest. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and my knees almost gave causing me to grab the doorframe for support. Phil mumbled something I couldn’t catch to which Dan nodded and mumbled back. Phil and I both had tears brimming in our eyes, but for very different reasons. I felt that lonely scared paranoia and heartbreak wreak havoc throughout my body as I watched Phil seem to lean forward in slow motion. Phil’s eyes closed, and I looked away. I knew what they were going to do and I didn’t want to witness it. After today’s events, I knew I couldn’t handle anything more life shattering. 

I swallowed my own sob deep in my throat, and quickly fled down the hallway. When I was at a safe distance, I let my body wrack with deep sobs. I felt as if I was crying out a river of emotions that I had kept in me for years. Dan was my first love, and it hurt to see them so in love with each other and intimate. I knew I would be happy for them later, but for now my body was consumed in pure despair. By the time I came back to my senses, I found myself at the front door. I looked at the door handle. It was so inviting. I could feel temptations slimy grip as I stared at it. On any normal day, I would have just left the apartment and walked around London for a few hours to clear my head. But this wasn’t a normal day, if I walked out that door I’d be signing up for my own funeral. My hand twitched at my side as if to say, “Fuck the consequences! Just leave already!” My head, still muddled from crying, wanted to listen to that little voice. I felt like I was at a great distance watching my hand lift up to the door handle.

“Y/N!” a screeched echoed throughout the apartment.

My trance was broken. I immediately whipped around expecting to see Dan there at the top of the stairs ready to stop me, but he wasn’t. No one was there. For a second, I thought I imagined it until I heard him shriek my name again. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Please, help! Y/N, wake up! Y/N!”

A lightning strike of fear slashed through my heart at the pure terror in Dan’s voice. Before I could even register what I was doing, I was halfway down the hallway yelling back at him. I was running so fast I ended up crashing into his doorframe, almost sprawling myself out on the floor in the process. 

“What the hell happened?” I asked as I took in the scene in front of me. Dan was kneeling on the floor still crying and visibly shaken, while Phil was in a heap on the floor next to him. Phil looked like absolute death, and if it wasn’t for the slight rise and fall of his chest I would have thought he was dead. He was ash white, completely still, and was as limp as a noodle every time Dan tried shaking him to wake him up. 

“I-I d-don’t know,” Dan blubbered out through the tears and small hiccups, “I was h-having a p-panic attack and he was c-comforting me one m-minute, and the next he gave me this strange look and just c-collapsed! I don’t know what to do! He w-won’t wake up, and I-I can’t call an ambulance!”

I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to constrict and fly up to the sky all at once. It was a relief to know that Phil wasn’t kissing Dan and that I had just misinterpreted, but it was terrifying to have Phil be this unresponsive. He was normally more vocal about his health, but he must have been so worried with us that he ignored his own issues. My stomach did a flip that screamed at me, “This is your fault!” I ignored the voice, and immediately went to Dan and gently pulled him back from Phil’s limp form.

“Y/N! What are you doing?!” he demanded trying to get back to Phil. Him being frantic was not helping this situation. If he fell back into another panic attack then I would have two crises to deal with, and that was the last thing I needed right now. I grabbed Dan by the jaw and made him look at me. It momentarily surprised him enough to stop struggling against me. 

“Dan, get a hold of yourself! If you go back into another panic attack, how is that going to help Phil? He’s obviously not going to wake up anytime soon so let’s move him to a comfortable place until he does okay. In the meantime, we can look up his symptoms on the internet to see if we can help. Okay?” I demanded calmly, completely surprising myself. I was all out of tears for these past few days, and so help me God I was not going to lose it now when Dan so obviously needed me. 

Dan visibly relaxed and muttered, “You’re right. Okay, let’s move him into his bedroom.” 

My heart shouldn’t have soared when Dan didn’t want Phil in his own bed, but it did.

 

Three hours later, Dan and I had finally dealt with the situation. We pieced together that Phil had some sort of infection in the gash on his arm, but mainly, the high levels of traumatic stress had caused him to faint. Thankfully, we had everything we needed to treat him with in the apartment, and the article we read said he would probably wake up in a few hours after his body recuperated. I silently shut the door to Phil’s room, and prayed that we diagnosed and treated the problem correctly. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I knew that I had accidentally killed him from ignorance. I walked into Dan’s room and shut the door behind me. I leaned against it completely drained. I felt like my knees were going to give in, and I was going to collapse to the floor. I looked to the bed to find Dan sitting there hugging his legs. He reminded me of a small child that just had their world ripped out from under their feet. I took the last strength I had and pushed myself off the door only to plop down next to Dan. I leaned into his side and rested my head on his shoulder. A comfortable silence washed over us, like the sea after a raging storm. 

“I should have known,” Dan simply stated after a while. I felt him wanting to say more, so I stayed silent. A few minutes later he spoke again, “He was acting so off, but I just figured that was from all the trauma that we went through. I mean, who would be acting normal after all of that?”

I felt it was my time to speak up as his sentence died off. “No one,” I whispered back. “If someone was a hundred percent okay in this situation, then they must be outright insane. Don’t beat yourself up.”

“But it’s my fault. He was so worried about me that he didn’t take care of himself,” he whispered into the silence.

“Well then I guess I’m to blame, too,” I felt him turn his head to look at me. 

“No you’re no-”

I cut him off before he could stupidly try and ignore the obvious, “Yes, I am. If you’re blaming yourself for making him worry too much, then I’m to blame too. He was also worried about me, and rightly so, I was a mess – still am. But that’s the point Dan; we’re all messes right now. Phil understood that. He’s just too caring to ignore someone in pain. I promise you that he’ll wake up, and when he does we’ll have a talk with him about putting his health at the top of his priorities.” 

Dan sighed and let go of his legs, leaning against me. His arm came around my shoulder hugging me closer. His face buried itself in my hair as he whispered near my ear, “Thank you, Y/N.” I was about to say something back when the words died in my throat and my heart skipped three beats. As Dan lifted his head back up he softly kissed the top of my head in what I could only describe as affection. We had never been that affectionate as friends before, and suddenly despite the situation my heart was flying in hopes that this meant he could possibly like me back. 

“Y/N.”

I looked up at him, at slight blush dusting my cheeks. 

“Yeah?” I barely got out. 

“We should go to bed. It doesn’t look like you got any sleep either,” he stated looking me over.

As fast as my heart soared before, I felt it sink even faster. A sense of dread overcame me as I remembered the paranoia I felt being alone in my room. I didn’t want to be alone right now. I wanted someone there to hug me and tell me it was going to be okay while I drifted off to sleep; someone to chase away the real monsters that were lurking outside our door. I hugged my sides and unwillingly stood up. “Yeah, well um, good-night,” I muttered, unable to mask my discomfort. I tried to turn away to leave, but Dan grabbed my arm sensing my reluctance. 

“What’s wrong?” he softly asked.

“It’s silly,” I murmured not looking him in the eyes.

“I bet it’s not,” he countered.

From the tone of his voice, I could already tell, no matter what I excuse I came up with, I wasn’t leaving until I told him. Not wanting to drag on the embarrassment I just let my mouth pop out the question that had been itching at me since I had first gone to his room. 

“Can I sleep with you?” I rushed out, only to immediately have my face turn beat red as I realized out loud how sexual that sounded.

Dan’s face was also a matching color and in his surprise had let go of my arm, “What?”

“No! No! That’s not what I meant! I’m just scared to sleep alone right now because I’m afraid that the moment I close my eyes someone is going to kill me.” My arms tightened even more around myself. “I feel so paranoid that I can’t sleep. I just want to feel the presence of someone else. You know, sort of how like when you were a kid and just sleeping in your parent’s bed would make all the monsters go away. You know, it would just make me feel safer.” Oh, God. I probably sounded so ridiculous to him. “But, never mind. I’m stupid. I shouldn’t have asked. That’s obviously an invasion of your privacy. I’ll just go.” 

Thoroughly embarrassed, I kept my head down and started to walk out. Suddenly, a pair of arms were wrapped around me and I was hugged against his chest.

“Of course you can,” he softly stated. 

“Um, really?” I asked not quite believing my ears.

“Of course, Y/N. I’m not going to make you sleep alone when you’re obviously terrified. Now come on.” He turned off the light and got into the right side of the bed. “Well aren’t you coming?”

I hummed my agreement back at him and slowly got under his covers. Immediately, I was overwhelmed with a sense of comfort. His scent was all around me, a blanket of its own. I felt a sensation of warmth flow through my heart as I relaxed into the bed. 

“Come here,” I felt more than heard the whisper in my ear. Suddenly, Dan’s arms were wrapped around my middle as he pulled my back into his chest. “Is this okay?” he asked. I could hear his voice rise unsurely. 

I relaxed into his touch. “Yes,” I breathed out. 

“Good,” he nuzzled in my hair, “now go to sleep. I’ll be here protecting you from the monsters while you sleep.”

My breathing steadied out into a slow rhythm as the paranoia finally left me, and I drifted off into the world of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I'm so sorry this took forever! I had some major family drama back at home that was a pain to deal with on top of the end of my college semester! I'll try and post the chapters sooner from now on! I hope you enjoyed this update! :D ~Rose

**Author's Note:**

> The plot for this came to me the other night and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since! I hope you like this new series! This is my first chaptered work! 
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments, questions, and suggestions!~  
> You can find me on Tumblr and Wattpad as CursedbyPhan! ~~


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